Game 139 // First Inning // D’Back to Back to Back

A day after the Nats hit four in a row.

The D’Backs hit three in a row, to lead off the game.





No outs.

Batter one, batter two, batter three.




Something majorly weird was in the air last night.

When this team did this exact thing almost exactly two years earlier. And just one day after the Nationals had repeated their own feat, almost exactly two years after they first did it.


And as the game went on, the weirdness kept coming.


Arizona set their franchise record for home runs (8).

And these two teams, combined, broke the all-time record for home runs in a game…




Forget starting a game with three home runs—what are the odds that in that same game, the record for total home runs is set? 

There’s some serious, all-time something-in-the-air magic going on.


Or, perhaps a more compelling, more “scientific” explanation:

The Jared Principle.


That, when an orthographically-irregular “Jared” encounters another orthographically-irregular “Jared”…

Wild, unpredictable chaos ensues. 


Jerad Eickhoff on the mound. 

Jarrod Dyson at the plate. Leading off the inning.


Which was maybe finally enough—for the long-theorized Jared Principle to make its debut on earth.

When the very first pitch of the game ended up in the seats in right field.

Home run. 1-0, D’Backs.

Courtesy, Jarrod and Jerad.




There is, to stick with science for a moment, one more hypothesis here.

Involving the man in green, roaming the ballpark during every Phillies home game.




Just before Dyson came up in the first, the Phillie Phanatic sauntered over to the Diamondbacks’ dugout and, wiggling his fingers, threw a little hex their way.


One of the Arizona TV guys goes: 

“The Phanatic is down there trying to put the whammy on the Diamondbacks… but they’ve won 9 of their last 10 here at Citizens Bank Park.”

“So the whammy from the Phanatic is haywire.”

“Yeah, keep doing it!” says Bob Brenly.


So, could we have just seen the Backfire Whammy?

Or perhaps a drunk whammy, cancelling out its entire effect?




However this all happened tonight, it happened.

Back to back to back. To start off the first inning in Philly.


Jerad Eickhoff on the mound, giving up the first-pitch home run to Dyson.

Then Ketel Marte. Then David Peralta.




13 pitches. 3-0 Arizona. Three home runs.

And the worst possible start to a start for Jerad Eickhoff.







And so, the next morning?

He’s relegated.





But there’s a lesson in this, somewhere. Not that he can do anything about it now, but—someday if he’s called up again, and another “Jared” comes up to bat, he can tell the manager:

“Take me out, I can’t face this guy… don’t ask.”


And if he did, and if he stayed vigilant…


The Jared Principle would, so says the theory, lose all of its might.




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